Karaoke Anyone

As a Filipino American I never realized how American I was until I immersed myself in the Filipino culture. I always try to "do as the Roman's do" when I travel, but it's always easier said than done. For instance, we had a merienda (snack) at a restaurant where the bathroom sink did not function, leaving me to wonder how the employees washed their hands. I did ask the busboy if I could wash my hands in the sink in the kitchen, and he cocked his head slightly with a puzzled look that begged, "What sink?" ... Shoot, I left my hand sanitizer at home that day... The food was rather good ... just don't think about it.

Speaking of food, I ate a variety of delicacies: pig knuckles, ox tail curry, beef tongue, and some pig organs cooked in it's own bile... yeah! The chicken inasal was masarap (delicious) despite learning after-the-fact that it was the unfortunate loser of a cockfight (a national past time). You'll be happy to know that there are some things that were just too much to stomach, such as the spicy chicken feet, ostrich saliva soup, day old chicks, and balut (partially developed duck embryos).

And then there's this respect-for-elders ritual. It's customary to greet an elder (i.e. one in your parent's generation) by taking a hold of their hand, palm down, and raising it to your forehead to seek their blessing. I clumsily attempted a few times, and used my dumb American ignorance as an excuse. Once, I tried it with an uncle, who then grabbed my hand and lifted it to his own forehead. Somehow, I think he was trying signal to me that the times are changing. I walked away even more confused than ever.

Finally, there are the obvious language differences. I'm certainly not fluent in Tagalog (something many Filipinos scold me for being such a disgrace), meanwhile most Filipinos speak fluent English. But even if I could speak Tagalog, I still have trouble with the fact that Asians (including Filipinos) are indirect when communicating needs, because it's considered rude to be too forthcoming. For example, if I want to try out the local beer, I might indirectly say, "I've never had San Miguel beer," which my companion would infer, "You must want a beer. Let's go buy a drink."

This indirect communication process is not only maddening, but it's ripe for misunderstanding and communication breakdowns. I learned this one evening as we drove through the seedy red-light district of downtown Manila. I happened to notice a long row of karaoke bars, which were obviously a front for brothels. I made a curious observation, "There sure are a lot of these karaoke bars here, huh?"

From which my cousin responds, "So you want to go to the 'karaoke' bar tonight!"

"No, No! Not at all!" I quickly clarified.

"Are you sure? I can arrange it."

"No, seriously. I was asking a question out of curiosity."

"So you do want to go? Let's go!"

"No, really! It was just an observation."

"Oh? ok!"

I guess I should be careful what I say. I can see why Americans get into trouble overseas. So the next time you hear me brag about a night of karaoke, I'll be sure to clarify what kind of karaoke I'm talking about.

- Marvin